The Woes of Housekeeping & Tale of a Quitter

Wow! Time flies when we are having fun, no? Well, I think time flies by whether we are having fun or not. I haven't written since my crazy dream about TomKat.

My story starts now. I've been anxiously waiting for this week. It is the week that my parental units will be coming to Los Angeles to celebrate my mom's birthday and to vacation in LA LA land with their favorite 5th child, ME! In preparation for the arrival of the parental units, one has much to do. Now, I'm an OK housekeeper. I admit I've fallen off the wagon a bit from when I initially moved out on my own. When I first moved out spic-and-span was my motto and I settled for nothing less. Now I'm normal. In my own defense though, I'm still better than a certain-to-remain-nameless-sibling of mine was when she first got married and would bring her little sister (me) to her house on weekends to "help out" with dishes. Those damn dishes would take me hours to finish. This is a whole different category of dishes, one that you can't imagine unless you've seen it! These dishes weren't saying, "sorry, we were too tired last night after dinner to do our dishes." They were more like,"we've been exhausted since the last time you were here a month ago dishes, vacuuming, etc. Anyway, I still keep a pretty decent house. However, when parents come to visit, I still feel like I want to tidy up a bit.

I finished watching my much anticipated season premier off Gilmore Girls and it was time to get down to business. I put my hair up, put on my house slippers and got to it! My housecleaning music was blaring and the teapot was whistling. I finished sweeping my hardwood floors and my linoleum kitchen floor was ready to go! I read some time ago that the best way to clean the hardwood floors is with tea. I pulled down my cheap, wouldn't drink it if I was dehydrated, Lipton Tea. Poured my hot water into my mop bucket and got to it with my awesome mop I had bought a few months back. I love this mop. From the moment I first laid hands on it, I knew it would be good to me. Seemed functional enough, has the big wide mopping thingys- good for big messes! It has the neato-thing that helps you wring out your mop so that you don't get your hands dirty or wet and your floors don't become swimming pools for dust mites! I was in love with this mop. Now, I'm mopping, having a pretty good time! I'm starting to congratulate myself on a job almost done- and yay go me- I'll be sitting in my clean living room with clean tea-mopped floors in no time! Here goes the second mop bucket of freshly brewed tea --- dip that mop in, pick it up, bring down the twisty thing that helps wring it out, and... KER - PLUNK! What? Try it again, its ok. This mop has been good to me! KER - no longer attached. Wide moppy thingys sitting in tea. I am holding just the handle. EFFING QUITTER I scream! Stupid EFFING Quitter! You couldn't have waited to break until I finished this floor? I had maybe 5 x 5 area left to go. Dumb-Stupid-Quitter! How do I finish now with mom and dad coming in 3 short days? Hands and knees of course! I'm way to__________________(fill in the blank)Old, Young, Good, Red-Headed, Nice... ?for this. I don't want to be mopping on my hands and knees - it is 2006 for goodness sake! All I can say to this is Mark had a much better idea when he suggested getting a maid. Can I get a maid now? I'm ready for that maid.