Blues & Bliss

Legend tells that when a certain strawberry-haired child would get frustrated with the world around her, she would quickly retreat to her bedroom then SLAM the door shut.  Once the door was set in place a loud scream would resonate through her lungs and surrounding suburban nieghborhood blocks, then the door opens and out came a smiling and more happy Quel.  I did the adult version of that, just now, quietly in my head.  Wasn't as effective - but I fear that the questions I would get after such a show here at the office would irritate me far more than I have the patience for today.

I'm writing this all down for a couple of reasons, but most importantly, because I know I'll read it and re-read it.  This will help me in the months to come. 

I'm happy and know I'm blessed to be engaged to the most wonderful man.  He brings out the best in me and keeps my otherwise uneven temperment, a bit more even.  In the past months he has also been an anchor to help me stay grounded and I've finally come around to the less is more concept that I believe he is the author of. I try to not take any of this for granted, not even for a moment.  In the previous months, I have gone through every possible wedding scenario in my head.  Some of these ideas made it to paper, some to a folder of Wedding Ideas that I have kept for quick referral later. I've tried very earnestly to take my childhood wedding fantasies in and pull out a more mature and reasonable vision of a nice fête that my future husband and I will remember pleasantly in years to come. I'm not the broke-ass bride, nor am I the bride with trust fund to be dedicated entirely to my wedding.  So, this for me elimiates a cheap and quick elopment, because that just makes me sad when I think about that being my wedding day.  It also disqualifies me for the marathon wedding with 250+guests, 24 wedding attendats, 9 flower girls, 2 gowns and a partidge in a pear tree to carry the 'Billion Dollar Bill' to my unsuspecting daddy.  Lucky for me, and my unsuspecting daddy, I don't want that either.  I was actually shunned by a certain wedding planner- because my overall budget didn't start at $30K.  When I wrote her an email a month later to confirm what I believed was a shun, she tried to apologize by blaming the lack of emails I received on their server.  Ummmm its been 3 months, if your server is that faulty, then you do need to get a few $100K weddings under your belt so you can offer a better service to new clients and actually return emails.  Perhaps too, you could learn to say, "I'm terribly sorry, you aren't high dollar enough for our services, go call Weddings R Us."

I'm going to enjoy these moments in my life.  This is the first and only time of my entire life that I've been engaged.  I'm going to take it easy, not get to hasty to have it all be over.  The American economy is still in recession, even though the wedding world seems oblivious to this thing concept.  Even if I did have $30K to waste on a wedding, I think it would be just that, a waste.  My point in writing this is to remind myself and anyone else who wants to be reminded.... the money isn't important.  It is about the vows and the vows. I want nothing more than my wedding to be elegant and memorable.  I don't need to take out a loan to do that, I just need my darling man and our love (then our parents and a BFF).

So, raise your glasses with me - I'm toasting to having it all and realizing it just in time!